I attended a Girls only College in the early nineties. 

Years later, one of my former classmates created a WhatsApp group and connected almost all of us. Twenty years was a long time. Some of our former classmates were dead, lots of them were married with kids while some were still single. Some were business owners, lots were employees and others were struggling financially. 

We were typical examples of the way life would treat children born the same day, even to the same parents. Their paths in life differs and their individual destinies varied. 

There was lots of excitement when we first connected and we tried to catch up with each other’s lives.  We discussed different topics that ranged from finance and business, to home and housekeeping,  and invariably relationship and marriage. 

Relationship with the opposite sex was one topic that usually piqued the interest of most women. That was because we are mostly emotional creatures. Almost all women had one issue or the other they were dealing with when it comes to relationship either they were in one or not.  

That applied to both singles, divorced or married women. There was always one issues to talk about when it comes to relationship and the topic came up as expected in a group which comprised of women with varied views about life. 

Someone then asked the question, when was the best time to get married? If your daughter came up to you and asked this question, what answer will you give her? 

Time should never be one of the requirements for getting married. That would be setting yourself up for a lifetime of disaster. You will definitely make the wrong decision out of desperation. Nothing good comes out of decisions taken when you are desperate. 

Some people were lucky to meet their life partners at a young age. Some met their own at middle age while for others, it was at the later stage of their lives and some may decide not to get married. Marriage is not for everybody and it is not a requirement for survival in life. 

However, if you are the type who believed that your life is not complete until you are married to someone, then you need to consider a few things before you took the plunge. 

  • Are you matured enough? Marriage is the coming together of two individuals who were raised from different backgrounds with different ways of looking at things. They decided to love each other and lived together till death do them apart. Are you ready for the kind of sacrifice it takes to make marriage work?  

     A lecturer of mine once told us during a lecture during my undergraduate years that,   ‘Marriage will double your responsibility and have your rights.’ 

  • Are you financially ready? A lot of people want to get married to a rich partner. This applies to both men and women. The question is what are you bringing to the table as well? Your financial muscle may be the one tool that may save you from a disastrous marriage one day. 
  • Are you spiritually ready? This is for those who believed in the existence of Supreme being who controls all and sees all. If you are truly connected to HIM, you will ask for guidance from him before taking a decision as important as joining your life with someone else’s till death do you apart. It is too long a time to live in misery. 
  • Do you trust your instinct? How strong is your intuition? Most times, we found ourselves in disastrous marriages because we ignore our instinct and decided to trust our sense of reasoning more. The signs of a wrong or abusive partner are usually there for us to see during the process of courtship but we usually ignore them and convinced ourselves everything is alright with in our world. We hoped that things will get better when we get married but it usually doesn’t.  

In conclusion, there is no best time to get married. Do whatever works best for you and choose your partner carefully. Forever is a long time to be miserable. It is not easy but try not to succumb to peer, family or society pressure. Always remember that when you choose a wrong partner, half of your success in life has gone down the drain. 

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